Finding Your Calling

My father knew at the age of five that he wanted to be a doctor. He never wavered from that decision. His whole life was about healing. One of my cousins knew at a very early age that she wanted to be an actress. At the age of 70, she still is, although she has added some other roles to her repertoire. I, on the other hand, zigzagged my way through several careers before I found the one I was destined for. How is it that some people just seem to know, early in life, what they are meant to do with their lives, while others - most of us, I'd venture to say - struggle to find their true calling and perhaps never do?

Finding your true calling happens when a whole lot of pieces fall into place. Sometimes the pieces fall together suddenly in some great gestalt. Sometimes the pieces come together slowly over time.

It starts when something catches your imagination in a deep way, sparks your curiosity, your interest and your sense of purpose and meaning. It becomes your passion. It grows and develops when your passion begins to match up with your natural and then learned abilities - your aptitudes, skills, talents, and strengths. And then, there's always the element of luck or the availability of opportunity. It all comes together as the dots are connected between your passion, your interests, your skills, strengths, and natural aptitudes, your values, your sense of purpose, your belief in yourself and in your dream, and your will to make it happen.

If you are someone who did not discover your true calling as a young child or as a teenager, do not be discouraged. This discovery can come at any age. Look at the famous painter, Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known as Grandma Moses, who discovered her true calling very late in life. Though she was always interested in art and painting, she began her career in a serious way at the age of 78 and pursued it until she was 100. (She died at the age of 101.) A similar thing happened to my friend, Carole Wood Hardy, who began writing poetry at the age of 72 and was a published poet many times over by the time she died at age 89.

Have you found your true calling? If not, what are you waiting for? You can do it. Coaching can help.

Read More About It: Here are three of my favorite books on this subject: Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy (Three Rivers Press, 1997), What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson (Random House, 2002), and Do What You Are by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger (Little, Brown & Company, 2001).

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Designing Your Life - When Things Fall Apart

There comes a time (or more than one) in each of our lives when something shifts or changes, and it's time to re-invent ourselves and re-design our lives. The process of change can be scary, and it can also be very exciting. Patterns that are known and familiar, whether they serve us or not, suddenly become disassembled and the pieces lie about in disarray.

Imagine a child's creation made with Lego pieces. Perhaps it is a fort or a castle, a truck or a robot. And suddenly that creation is pulled apart by a playmate or a sibling. There it is, in shambles, the colorful pieces in a heap, no longer in the familiar and recognizable form. There can be a sense of loss, of confusion, of uncertainty - especially if the change is unexpected and unwelcome. But there is also the opportunity to put these pieces back together in a different way, to create something new and even more exciting.

Usually, at the point that people come to me for coaching on re-designing their lives, something in their lives has been, or is about to be, dismantled. Perhaps they have just started or ended a relationship, have made a signifcant geographical move, have been downsized from a job, or have hit a major life milestone that requires choosing a new direction, such as graduation, marriage, the birth of the first child, the departure of the last child, or the approach of retirement. The familiar patterns of their lives have come apart and lie like Lego pieces all around the floor.

It does not matter if the changes are anticipated and desired ones or forced and painful ones. Either way, they can be stressful and confusing as well as tremendous opportunities for growth and re-creation. When a life comes apart, either in a small way or totally, the first step is to understand that change is happening and that it is natural to go through a grieving process for whatever is lost. This grieving process can take minutes, days, months, or years - depending upon the magnitude or desirability of the change - as we move through the phases of shock, denial, fear, anger, depression, sadness and, finally, acceptance. At the point of acceptance, it is time to re-group and re-build. Then, it is time to re-design your life.

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Practicing Extreme Self-Care

Many New Year's resolutions concern taking better care of our health and body in some way - reducing our weight, eating more healthy foods, drinking more water, exercising more, or stopping or changing some habit, such as smoking, that is not serving us.

In my coaching practice, I have found that no matter what the focus of our work together is - whether it is personal, professional, career, or business development, growth and change - the first issue we often address is the state of the client's self-care practice.

Attention to self-care is vital to the success of any endeavor. Good health and fitness, and a high level of energy, is the best foundation for every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, many people do not hold self-care as a high priority. Here are some of the most common excuses I hear:

• I'm too busy.
• I don't have time.
• I put others ahead of myself.
• I'm being selfish when I take time for myself.
• It costs too much.
• I can't afford it.
• I'm too stressed out.
• My ____ (fill in the blank) comes first.
• I forget. The time just get by me.
• I don't know where to start.

What's your excuse?

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