Procrastination: Some Thoughts

Procrastination! A fascinating topic. What IS procrastination? The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of the verb "to procrastinate" is "to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done."

I have a calendar program called AnyTime. My version is pretty old now, but it serves the purpose. I use the daily display. On the left is the day, laid out in hours. On the right is a To Do List for the day.

Now, I mention all this because almost EVERY day, there are more things on my To Do List than I can, or do, accomplish that day. There are inevitably items that spill over to the next day and some items that I just scratch off the list.

Sometimes I notice that the same item spills over from day to day to day. I neither do it, nor scratch it off the list. It is something I need, or want, to do, yet somehow I never get to it. THIS is procrastination - just staring me in the face, day after day! Do you have items on your To Do List like this?

At first, I thought that there were two types of procrastination: (1) You have a task to do but outside distractions or interruptions prevent you from doing it. (2) You have a task to do but some internal and usually ill-defined resistance leads you to choose to do something else instead. You just simply put off until tomorrow what you could do today. And somehow, "tomorrow" keeps on being "tomorrow" day after day after day.

However, in reviewing the Dictionary definition above I note the word "intentionally". So, there are three factors afoot here, and the first type of procrastination described above - outside interruptions or distractions - turns out to be something other than true procrastination:

(1) External interruptions that cannot be avoided and that reasonably take priority over the task at hand: This is NOT procrastination, though if repeated or perpetual it may be a matter of poor boundary management.

(2) External distractions - also things that need to be done, but could be done at another time, AFTER you have completed the task at hand: These distractions are NOT procrastination, though they could be used to support procrastination. This is a matter of lack of focus and prioritizing, combined with poor time management - sometimes a symptom of ADD or ADHD. [Watch for my upcoming Blog article on "Procrastination: Ten Top Daily Distractions and How to Handle Them".]

(3) Internal distractions that lead you to "blow off" the task at hand and do almost anything else instead: THIS is true Procrastination! And the root of this type of procrastination is RESISTANCE.

The optimal way to handle procrastination in our lives is to OWN our resistance to doing the task and take a good hard look at WHY we are resisting it. And there could be many reasons.

Here are some possibilities:

- The task is too difficult
- The task is too easy; it's boring
- It takes too long
- It's too much work - more than you feel like doing
- It's overwhelming in its magnitude
- It's not interesting or meaningful
- The incentive or reward is not great enough
- I'm just lazy
- Doing the task may result in something unfavorable to me, or to someone else
- It seems like a waste of time
- You have a "gut feeling" that doing this task is not a good idea [and when you do put it off, you often discover that intuition was right]

Once you understand WHY you procrastinate, and you OWN your resistance, then you can stop sabotaging yourself and make a clear choice about how you will handle this going forward. Your resistance loses its power and you are able to solve your dilemma and move on.

P.S. For more insights on Procrastination, visit the Website Procrastination Is Fun.

Blogging Again: Back in the Saddle

Bless me, someone - it's been 8 months and 17 days since my last Blog post!

And, more than that, it's been twelve months since I published the last issue of my monthly e-newsletter, LifeWork Letter!

Why the long hiatus? Who knows, for sure. I've got some thoughts about this.

I'll tell you what it's NOT: It's not due to illness, nor family emergencies, nor a career change, nor retirement, nor an extensive trip around the world, nor a dislike of writing.

On the contrary, I am very much alive and well, my family is well, and I am still a life/work coach, trainer, speaker, and writer. I am not retired, though I do take more time off than I used to. I haven't done any traveling, except for a brief two-day trip to Maine this summer. And I love writing more than ever. In fact, this month - the month of November - I am once again participating in National Novel Writing Month (www.NaNoWriMo.org).

So, again, why the long hiatus in writing my Blog or Newsletter?

• Well, for a while back there, I was heavily involved in developing and facilitating an entrepreneurial training program specifically designed for unemployed workers who wanted to start their own businesses. Writing time slipped away.
• Then, as late spring approached, I embarked on a focused weight management and exercise program (self-designed) that resulted in getting much more fit and healthy and losing 15 pounds of last year's "winter weight". This took a lot of time, focus, and energy.
• As summer came into full bloom, a special friendship did too, and spending time with him became a welcome distraction. No, more than a distraction, it became a priority. (Still is.)
• Then came Fall - a birthday, some business presentations, some PR in two newspaper articles, a sore shoulder from over-exercising, rehearsals for two musical productions, fundraising for a non-profit, and complications in the special friendship - all taking precedence.

But what's the bottom line here? What derails us from our so-called "productive activities"? What causes us to lose our focus and drift?

Here are some thoughts about that, some possible causes:

• Distractions
• Laziness
• Exhaustion
• Procrastination
• A reorganization of priorities
• A lack of Purpose, or a change of Purpose
• A need for a break, a change of pace, some R&R
• A desire for fun and/or creative endeavors
• A time for learning, gathering new ideas and information - some "mulling" time
• A period of transformation, similar to being in the chrysalis stage between caterpillar and butterfly

Now, I am filled with thoughts about all these areas, and a desire to share my ideas, and to dialogue with my readers. All these topics and more are now on the table for discussion. In my next blog post, I will address the issue of procrastination.

So, let me hear from you. What takes you off-course in your life? Or, does your course merely change? How does procrastination fit into your picture?

Don't Wait. Carpe Diem!

Carpe Diem. Latin for "seize the day".

This is written especially for the procrastinators out there (me included).

Three recent events in my life have converged like a perfect storm to bring home to me the importance living life full out in every moment, hitting all the high spots, and not letting the important stuff slide.

The first event was attending portions of a Buddhist retreat that was held down the street from me in my home town of Rockport, Massachusetts this past August. Though I did not attend the whole retreat, and did not experience this firsthand, I did hear that the teacher, Lama Marut, led participants in a long guided meditation on death. The purpose of doing this meditation, as I understand it, is to face and finally accept the inevitability of one's own death so that one can release the fear and begin to really live - fully and in every moment. One of the things you realize through doing this meditation is that death could come at any moment, ready or not, whether we are young, old, or in between. The purpose of this death meditation is, ultimately, to end suffering and to bring happiness to yourself and to others. [This description is a vast oversimplification, but it will have to do for now.]

The second event was hearing the description of a trip to France, recently undertaken by two friends, John and Jo Leal. They spent most of their three-week trip in the countryside near the village of Turenne, but spent the last two and a half days in Paris. This got me thinking about what happens when we take a trip to an unfamiliar location, especially to a destination hot spot like Paris. What happens when we try to see, do, experience everything in such a short space of time? We have a long list, perhaps, of what we want to see and do - tourist spots, scenic beauty, fine dining, couture clothing, eating croissants in a cafe, practicing our French, immersing ourselves in the culture; the list could go on and on. In a situation like this, most of us go for it full out. We pack it all in. We extract every drop we can from every moment. As my friend Betty would say, we "live juicy".

I put this together with the lesson of the death meditation and thought, why can't we live every day as if we only had two days in Paris? There is something about the way we throw ourselves into life when we are traveling, especially to unfamiliar and exotic foreign destinations, that brings us into the present moment, heightens our awareness and our appreciation of our surroundings, and enables us to let go, experience life fully, and "live juicy".

The third event happened just a week ago. A beloved family member died unexpectedly when he was hit by a van while walking his dog. This event brought it all home. We don't know when or how the end will come. Sometimes, as the TV ad says, life (or death) comes at you fast. As I sat in the service, I thought about Dick and about other people who have exited my life, via death or in other ways, before I had the chance to learn who they really were or to say all the things I would like to have said. I procrastinated. I thought there would be plenty of time. I waited too long.

Today, I decided to do the following things: (1) To make a list of all the people still living with whom I had unfinished business or had not communicated with in a timely way and to contact them as soon as possible. (2) To make a "Life List" - something I often suggest for my coaching clients but had not yet done for myself - a list of all the things, large and small, that I would like to do before I die. And then, to start doing them, with intention and passion.

As to item #1, I have already phoned and talked with two people on my unfinished business list; I still have several to go. It felt good to reach out and take that step.

Today, I began thinking more like a Buddhist. What if today were the last day of my life? What would be the most important thing I could do with my time today? What things would I absolutely not want to leave unfinished? Perhaps it wouldn't matter if my house wasn't clean or my office wasn't organized or I hadn't completed every business task I'd set out for myself or even if all my "papers" were in order. Perhaps what would be most important might be taking an early morning walk and saying hello to the ocean, or expressing the gratitude I feel to be living in such a beautiful spot on this earth, or phoning to wish a friend bon voyage on an upcoming trip, or phoning to express appreciation for the generosity of an ex-husband, or apologizing to a friend whose feelings I had inadvertantly hurt, or telling my son and daughter-in-law and granddaughter (and other dear ones in my life) that I love them with all my heart, or writing something from the heart, like this piece, that might inspire or support another person.

So, here's my bottom line: Live like you only had two days to spend with your beloved in Paris or live like this was your last day on earth, but above all, "live juicy", finish your unfinished business, DO IT (whatever "it" is) NOW, and Carpe Diem!