Don't Wait. Carpe Diem!

Carpe Diem. Latin for "seize the day".

This is written especially for the procrastinators out there (me included).

Three recent events in my life have converged like a perfect storm to bring home to me the importance living life full out in every moment, hitting all the high spots, and not letting the important stuff slide.

The first event was attending portions of a Buddhist retreat that was held down the street from me in my home town of Rockport, Massachusetts this past August. Though I did not attend the whole retreat, and did not experience this firsthand, I did hear that the teacher, Lama Marut, led participants in a long guided meditation on death. The purpose of doing this meditation, as I understand it, is to face and finally accept the inevitability of one's own death so that one can release the fear and begin to really live - fully and in every moment. One of the things you realize through doing this meditation is that death could come at any moment, ready or not, whether we are young, old, or in between. The purpose of this death meditation is, ultimately, to end suffering and to bring happiness to yourself and to others. [This description is a vast oversimplification, but it will have to do for now.]

The second event was hearing the description of a trip to France, recently undertaken by two friends, John and Jo Leal. They spent most of their three-week trip in the countryside near the village of Turenne, but spent the last two and a half days in Paris. This got me thinking about what happens when we take a trip to an unfamiliar location, especially to a destination hot spot like Paris. What happens when we try to see, do, experience everything in such a short space of time? We have a long list, perhaps, of what we want to see and do - tourist spots, scenic beauty, fine dining, couture clothing, eating croissants in a cafe, practicing our French, immersing ourselves in the culture; the list could go on and on. In a situation like this, most of us go for it full out. We pack it all in. We extract every drop we can from every moment. As my friend Betty would say, we "live juicy".

I put this together with the lesson of the death meditation and thought, why can't we live every day as if we only had two days in Paris? There is something about the way we throw ourselves into life when we are traveling, especially to unfamiliar and exotic foreign destinations, that brings us into the present moment, heightens our awareness and our appreciation of our surroundings, and enables us to let go, experience life fully, and "live juicy".

The third event happened just a week ago. A beloved family member died unexpectedly when he was hit by a van while walking his dog. This event brought it all home. We don't know when or how the end will come. Sometimes, as the TV ad says, life (or death) comes at you fast. As I sat in the service, I thought about Dick and about other people who have exited my life, via death or in other ways, before I had the chance to learn who they really were or to say all the things I would like to have said. I procrastinated. I thought there would be plenty of time. I waited too long.

Today, I decided to do the following things: (1) To make a list of all the people still living with whom I had unfinished business or had not communicated with in a timely way and to contact them as soon as possible. (2) To make a "Life List" - something I often suggest for my coaching clients but had not yet done for myself - a list of all the things, large and small, that I would like to do before I die. And then, to start doing them, with intention and passion.

As to item #1, I have already phoned and talked with two people on my unfinished business list; I still have several to go. It felt good to reach out and take that step.

Today, I began thinking more like a Buddhist. What if today were the last day of my life? What would be the most important thing I could do with my time today? What things would I absolutely not want to leave unfinished? Perhaps it wouldn't matter if my house wasn't clean or my office wasn't organized or I hadn't completed every business task I'd set out for myself or even if all my "papers" were in order. Perhaps what would be most important might be taking an early morning walk and saying hello to the ocean, or expressing the gratitude I feel to be living in such a beautiful spot on this earth, or phoning to wish a friend bon voyage on an upcoming trip, or phoning to express appreciation for the generosity of an ex-husband, or apologizing to a friend whose feelings I had inadvertantly hurt, or telling my son and daughter-in-law and granddaughter (and other dear ones in my life) that I love them with all my heart, or writing something from the heart, like this piece, that might inspire or support another person.

So, here's my bottom line: Live like you only had two days to spend with your beloved in Paris or live like this was your last day on earth, but above all, "live juicy", finish your unfinished business, DO IT (whatever "it" is) NOW, and Carpe Diem!