Success and Fulfillment: What Has Support Got to Do With It?

In the September 4th online issue of the New York Times, tennis giant Andre Agassi, after playing his last professional match, is quoted as addressing his fans in this way:

"The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found. Over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life. I found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed, sometimes even in my lowest moments, and I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could never have reached without you."

It strikes me that this is one of the most elegant and profound expressions of gratitude that I have ever heard or read.

Agassi's quote also reminds me of John Donne's words, "No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main...."

We all need each other. We need each other's shoulders to stand on.

I confess that I am one of those people who finds it challenging to ask for support, though I am beginning to change this. I seem to have a willfully independent spirit - an "I-can-do-it-myself" mentality. But as I mature, I am coming to understand Donne's message - that no man or woman stands alone - and so I have found Agassi's words both inspiring and instructive. Perhaps you have too?

In order to have shoulders to stand on, we need to do three things:

• be willing to ask for support
• be open to receiving that support
• acknowledge, appreciate, and treasure that support, as Agassi has so graciously acknowledged his fans.

These three things are not always easy for some people to do. The first and second steps have been especially challenging to me on many occasions.

As you continue to build and reach for dreams in your life, whose shoulders are you standing on? If your answer includes one name or many names, have you told them so lately?

If the answer is "no one's", then how could you begin to reach out today and start building a support system for yourself?

And for whom are you a shoulder to stand on? What does it take to be a shoulder to stand on? And how are these two things connected - being the shoulder and being the stander?

It suddenly becomes very clear to me that this interdependence, this interlocking web of supporting and being supported, is the very essence of human connection, and is the foundation for success and fulfillment.

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